2017 and beyond

Some of us have family we grew up with and yet we do not know why

Why they do not believe dementia is now part of my brain, nor do they try

Sadness, frustration, anger and disbelief

I don’t have to call him that is such a relief

My wish is a simple one, that’s how it appears to me

Make 2017 the year of belief for all including you and me

You see I have dementia and I am not seventy five or even eighty plus

You can’t see my dementia, I will continue to function without any fuss

I refuse to tell you how I really feel

You see I promised myself that for 2017 and beyond my beliefs you will not steal

I have made a promise to myself that in 2017 I will not speak ill of any human being at all

I can call you whatever I like up till then, that is my call

Expletives a plenty as I am sure you are aware

Oh, sorry I thought you really cared

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All is well and good

Recently at a family pre-Christmas gathering something became very apparent to me

My wife, children, grandson and one other you see

All is fine, well and good

Great food and company as it should

Dementia not too bad as many a conversation was held

Young people speaking of good times past and present as well

It suddenly dawned on me that there was only dementia and me

As conversation and noise increased I felt there was only dementia and me

Never in a million years would I say anything against my family

In years gone past I would have joined in the conversation you see

Withdrawing from conversation caused by dementia is cruel to a person like me

As more people and children arrived I went further and further into my own little dementia world of being alone

Eyes upon me waiting to see what I would do next does not help me at all

There is nothing wrong with me it is just my dementia, that’s all

Revealing

It is now December and Christmas awaits

Maybe changed symptoms will abate

Just like Santa, they are real

People treat me with exaggeration as if nothing I say is real

No time to listen, care or refute

Don’t need confrontation or a dispute

As pain increases and memory and cognition all decrease

Life goes on, happy, positive, alive, better than those who have deceased

Have to stay positive and be more aware and kind

Otherwise, friends will leave me behind

Pain getting bad, take another pain- killing pill

An hour later pain is here still